she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
