I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
