i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
