just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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