We're facebook friends in real life
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
