i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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