If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
