and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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