you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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