Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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