They should really pass out barf bags in church
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine