dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI