The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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