Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend