I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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