Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
