And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
