It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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