That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
