Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
