ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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