I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
