How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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