me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
