It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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