I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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