Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
We left an ass print on the piano.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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