Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(865): View more from Tennessee

i just google imaged poop.

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(760): View more from California

Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?

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(317): View more from Indiana

fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

My vagina just recognized that song.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare

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