sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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