Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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