You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
