I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
