Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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