It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
