i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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