Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
there was a trapeze. enough said
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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