she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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