just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize