I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
