I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize
