Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
That's when you crack a 10am beer
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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