There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
