May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
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Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
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I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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