just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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