I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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