I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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