A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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