what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
