Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
