so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
