One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
