I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
