Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
