your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
