Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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