I bet he comes in French.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Do vagina's smell?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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