They should really pass out barf bags in church
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
