hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
