I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
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Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
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We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"