i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat