we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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