Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know