then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
