Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.