For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
