I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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