So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
