did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
