Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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