I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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