Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Randomize
