hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
